Saying no is hard for a lot of people. The reason for some people’s inability to say no may range from cultural to personal limitations and beliefs which lead to a lot of discomfort in saying no to people. The word ‘no’ is undesirable because some people feel guilty for saying it while others feel the need not to make other people feel bad for saying no. In some cases, this discomfort with saying no stems from a culture of caring about people enough not to want to hurt them by declining a request.
Personally, I was raised in a culture which made me unconsciously prioritize other people’s feelings over my own; this largely made it difficult for me to say no to people. However I have worked it out and found a way to say without being rude or feeling guilty.
If you have a challenge with saying no, these are three quick and easy ways to say no politely without feeling guilty or making the other person feel bad.
1. No, I’m unable to do that
You say this when you want to be direct yet nice in saying no. If the person you are saying no to is someone that you respect, you can say, “I’m sorry but I’m unable to do that”. Whether you say this with a smile or not depends on you and the circumstance under which you are saying no. Sometimes, you do not need to explain a lot, and saying no in this manner helps you say no in a few words without losing your sanity.
2. No, I’m unable to do that at this time
One of the best ways to say without feeling bad is to let the person involved know that the timing is inconvenient. You can say, “no I’m unable to do that at this time because I have other engagements which have occupied my time; however, I appreciate you bringing it forward”. Simplicita! In other words, keep it simple!
3. I appreciate your effort, however it does not align with my current journey
You can say this especially in issues of career, gigs or opportunities being presented to you that you are not interested in; this is an easy way out. While this may be true for most people with regard to opportunities they are not interested in being presented to them, it is often difficult for them to mention that such engagements will distort their personal plans.
Click here to watch the video on how to say no without feeling guilty
In other words, a lot of people are uncertain as to how to present this in a way that does not make them feel awkward or uncomfortable for declining. You can simply say, “ I appreciate the opportunity, however it does not align with my current goals and where I’m heading right now so I’m going to have to decline. However, I appreciate you bringing it forward to me”. Saying this is enough as trying to explain any further might make it sound like you’re only making excuses. It is good to be straightforward yet warm in the way that you say no.
I must emphasize that these are meant to guide you in situations where you want to say no without feeling guilty or hurting the feelings of the other person involved. However this does not apply to cases of harassment; in situations of sexual harassment for example, it is vital to say no and be emphatic about it without trying to be nice or massage the ego and feelings of the abuser. These tips are for professional settings or friendships and are meant to help you say no when you need to say no without being rude or feeling guilty.
Click here to watch the video on how to say no without feeling guilty
Before you go, I have something for you. You can download the Confident Communicator Guide here to help you communicate more confidently. Also, you can join our 7-day Self Improvement challenge here.
I hope these tips have been useful to you. Be kind enough to share with family and friends. Follow our page for more useful tips on Instagram and Pinterest.